Our wedding cost us a fortune. Not a wealthy person's fortune, but ours. We wanted it to be perfect and it was. Every detail was considered, every moment an occasion. After all, we had waited ten years to do this. We're glad we waited too. This is a world with an over-abundance of divorces and unhappiness. I certainly don't blame the express flight to the alter for this. My great-grandparents had a 60 year long honeymoon after getting engaged on their third date. My parents took a leisurely four months to wed and are the happiest couple I know. Some say the world is a different place now. I think that's probably true, even though our ten years could have been seven without risk to our wedded glow. So after ten years, you might say we did it up pretty good. We feel that what made the day so special was the personalization. Our guests got to know us even more that day. Our wedding and reception were held at a beautiful mansion on Long Island. However, most of the personal touches for our wedding were the free or inexpensive details. They were the details that took the most time, but worth every minute. We placed framed photos throughout the five rooms we were using and made sure we included all our guests in the shots. During cocktail hour we passed around wine from our home states of Virginia and New York. In lieu of a carving station we had raclette, a very personal cheese and potato dish many of our friends and family have shared with us. Because it was spring and this was a culinary school, we named our tables after herbs and their corresponding mythical powers. We displayed important personal poetry throughout as well. We are abundantly fortunate to have a very close and spiritual friend that performed our ceremony, who was willing to get the appropriate credentials to make it legal. On the pricier side, we had a quartet play for and before the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. For me, nothing beats Ave Maria by cello. We also spent a dime on a videographer to capture it all. While I love the photos, nothing brings the event to life like seeing and hearing it all over again. After the carefully chosen dinner, with the help of three great friends, I surprised my new wife with an a capella barbershop quartet song that she now claims as her favorite.
We followed up the wedding with a carefully planned honeymoon. We went to Thailand and Malaysia, which were beautiful as well as easy on the dollar. We incorporated time on the beach on the island of Koh Samui, adventure travel in the jungle and mountains of Malaysia and lastly spent time at a luxury hotel in Bangkok. Our honeymoon had the added element of personalization for our guests because we registered for it. After ten years we didn't need a lot of stuff so we only registered for upgrades of a few items to cherish. The guests who used our honeymoon registry felt wonderfully connected to our unique trip. They gave us a gift of memories.
To personalize your wedding, try some of the following:
Do think outside the box for your reception. Being foodies, we found a culinary school associated with my wife's college at a beautiful mansion. It ended up cheaper than less attractive alternatives.
Do place photos of your guests all around your cocktail and/or reception area.
Don't have the photos be of just yourselves.
Do have a personalized menu and cocktail hour tailored to your tastes (unless they're extreme). Ask about options and alternatives. Serve a cocktail that is meaningful to you in some way (what you were drinking when you first kissed, your first date, the night you got engaged?) Again, think outside the box.
Do play music you love rather than the typical fare. Take time with your DJ wish list. Communicate with the DJ to make sure he knows what you want.
Do think about writing your own vows.
Do register for your honeymoon. It'll create a buzz about your honeymoon, which will enhance your day as you chat with guests about it during your event.
Do send your guests away with an outside the box favor. Ice cream scoopers and cake servers are over used. We sent our guests home with herbs in a lovely pot. Let your own tastes guide you in this.
We truly wanted a memorable wedding, not a cookie-cutter event. We were ecstatic with our day and wouldn't change a thing.
John Schnatterly is founder of www.SmartHoneymoon.com, the leading honeymoon registry provider.
www.smarthoneymoon.com
